Monday, November 30, 2015

The Hard Part

* Back at the Crisis Center*

-Sometimes I wonder why the bad things happen to good people and I've came with many conclusions. One of them being, it's true that things happen for a reason - but most importantly it's so that we can be living examples to people on how to get through the hard times...


"Question of the day is: what did your traumatic situation teach you?"

Why this man stay asking the hard questions, like we know; well I guess I'm the only one who don't. This is going to make me open some can of worms that I don't want to come out. Making me dig deep where it hurts just to understand the root of my issues. Pshhh. As I thought to myself, I answer.

"Betrayal, Trust, and finding balance in all of what happened. Although Finding balance doesn't seem fit; it's important when your life begins to take course and shifts. I'm not the same and I definetly don't have the same perspective of people anymore; on what they say or do. I'm definetly more aware and awake. I've looked at my parents, family and close friends that don't even know what happened differently as well.

Betrayal is something that I don't tread lightly. I'm extremely loving and kind. I have a caring soul, to the point where I'll still be your friend 'til the end' even if you continue to do me wrong. With everything that has happened I knew my ways would change. It's hard because you want to be there for people but you don't want to be taken advantage of again -so being cautious makes it a tug-a-war situation. I Trust but you have to show me, not just tell me. I'm all about action now. My Love may hide all of that but I still peep. You will never know how quick and easy it is for someone to turn their back on you when you're going through the rough shit. When it's all good and fun they're present and there but just do a scan when it gets bad and you need your support. Nobody sees the hard work you have to do while you're reconstructing your back bone, or when you need it back, because you gave it to everybody else for support and now you need it back. They all just ran with your bones standing up straight and shit, lol. But I swear to you, that was the last time  I thought I would trust again.

Love was and still is planted in me and it continues to bloom in every way. So I keep trust as a factor. You can't love without trust. The formula wouldn't be right without one another, they go together. I really don't have a hard time trusting people because I pay too much attention to how people can't live up to what they say and do or even want from me. So to me it's all talk until I see action ... It's levels to ALL of this... Levels"

*turns around and looks out the window* Atittude has been activated 

#IAMDINAH

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